Chad the Bird

The official site of your Avian Op-Ed Columnist

Chris Shifty

So Chris Christie's gubernatorial portrait will cost taxpayers $85,000 which is more than his three predecessors combined and we learn that respect is something you can make others buy for you! THANKS C-CHRIS! 

Featuring the song "Promises" by the Barrerracudas which is now stuck in your head. 

Recorded LIVE at the Green Mill Lounge in Chicago 

Please let Chad know you're thinking about him at thebirdchad@gmail.com

And rate and review, you sassy thing. 

Wrongky Kong - The Ballad of Billy Mitchell

Hear ye! Hear ye! Donkey FRAUD: The King of Kong has been dethroned! Gather round ye fellow peoples as Chad decries the rise and fall of Billy Mitchell! And also some other rambly bits about games and stuff. Get cozy. 

Recorded LIVE at The Paper Machete AT the Green Mill Cocktail Lounge (Every Saturday 3pm). 

Featuring the song "Promises" by the Barrerracudas

You can email Chad himself at thebirdchad@gmail.com

Please rate and review, ya hurd?! 

EastOver

Easter and Passover are happening in the same weekend here in Year 2018 but that's not the weird part... What really Fox's Chad's Mulder is "Why doesn't anyone know when they are going to be except Walgreens?!" Stay frosty, we'll figure this out. And then there's candy.

Kickass song "Promises" by the Barrerracudas

Recorded LIVE at the Green Mill Lounge Chicago, IL

Please email Chad thebirdchad@gmail.com

And rate and review because the world needs to know. 

A Chad Classic: Air BBWnB

On a very special Chad the Podcast: Chad goes back into the vault to find a story from March 22nd 2014 about a man, his couch and a surprise orgy that changed their lives. Classic. 

Theme song "Promises" by the Barrerracudas is now stuck in your head.

Please email Chad at thebirdchad@gmail.com whenever you're feelin' it. 

Please rate and review cuz that's nice too. 

Wonder Mind

On March 14th 2018, the great Stephen Hawking passed away into whatever math the universe has for us. Take a minute with Chad as he remembers the unstoppable mind that once lived here on Earth with us...

...and then watch this cuz it's hilarious: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfcC6FYyL4U


Recorded LIVE at the Green Mill Lounge

"Promises" by the Barrerracudas is the song of the revolution.

Please rate and review. We would for you. 

...And Alexa Laughed

We were late ok? We missed a week but it was because things were sad and like we were not having it. So here's a beat poem about Amazon Echoes. 

Recorded LIVE at the Green Mill Lounge, Chicago IL

"Promises" by the Barrerracudas (used with all permissions and handshakes and ragin' parties)

Rate. Review. Grade us on a curve... whatev man just do it.   

Putting the Fun in Funeral

Dearly beloved, we gather this episode together in community and in peace as Chad goes East (or West, depending on the flight) all the way to Taiwan to learn about the quaint rural custom of Funeral Strippers. Settle in. 

Featuring "Promises" by the Barrerracudas, the song of the revolution. 

Recorded LIVE at the Green Mill Lounge in Chicago 

Please rate and review and we'll do it for you. 

Eat Your Feelings

On February 14th 2018, 17 teenagers were murdered by a gunman in Parkland, FL. So the news ain't so great. Wasn't much of anything else to Chad about so it's back to the ol Criterion Collection. Chad pulls a story from 2013 about scientific discoveries involving Cannibalism in Jamestown (you know, to help cope) and ends up getting hungry. That's where we're at. 

If you'd like to get involved, here are some Chad-approved websites and resources:

http://ceasefireusa.org/affiliates/
http://everytown.wecanendgunviolence.org/
http://www.bradycampaign.org/
https://www.csgv.org/
https://momsdemandaction.org/
https://everytown.org/
https://giffords.org/
http://www.vpc.org/

And don't forget to VOTE in the midterms. Be the change you want to see. 

Special thanks to the Barrerracudas for their kickass song "Promises" which keeps us feeling ok. 
Recorded LIVE at the Green Mill Lounge in 2013
Please rate and review and we'll keep it up. 

Super Balls

It's that time of the year! Frosty winds, hot dishes and friends gathering for that most sacred of potlucks: The SuperBowl. But if you're really watching it for the commercials than maybe there's a problem. Chad is back and outta the Bunker to talk about the history of the SuperBowl's Half-Time show as we pause to ponder if it's really just all about the nachos. 

Featuring "Promises" by the Barreracudas, that ol chestnut.

Recorded live at the Green Mill Lounge

Please rate and review because that's what the cools kids are doing these days. 

Water We Waiting For

Well their assignment is up and Clark and Chad have one more night in the Bunker for the Resistance. To celebrate they unearth a classic from 2013 about the Water Sommelier of LA and Chad invents a new party word that's totally gonna catch on. 

Includes the song "Promises" by the Barreracudas cuz that's the ol chestnut. 

If you have any donations you'd like to offer, please email thebirdchad@gmail.com to keep the fires lit

Please rate and review cuz that's the way we win

Criterion Classic Recorded LIVE at the Green Mill Lounge 2013
 

Candy or Mildly Interesting, Less Upsetting News

It's one more week before Chad and Clark are released from duty for the Resistance and it's a good thing too because it's starting to get boring over there. Luckily they dust off an old chestnut from 4/20 2013 called "Candy News" and neither of them have any idea what it's about. Could be about candy, could be about pot but it's probably about when they caught the Boston Marathon Bomber, so hold on cuz anything is better than nothing. 

If you have a business or money and would like to sponsor the Chad Cast please email: thebirdchad@gmail.com

Thanks to the Barreracudas and they know why. 

Recorded LIVE at the Green Mill Lounge in Chicago 

Please rate and review and we'll take it off. 

Hamm on the Boners

Cabin fever is setting in as Chad and Clark stick out the rest of their assignment in the Resistance sequestered in the Bunker, going through old Chad stories from 2013. Chad pulls a vintage classic about John Hamm and his phallic photographic scandal. Come snuggle with them as they discuss Time, Vans and melting stuff. You know, typical bro stuff. 

Chad will be back at the Machete on February 10th, bringing YOU up-to-date stories of your world but in the meantime, it's been a slog not workin the room and they're super broke, so if you have a business or like money to burn and would like to sponsor the Chad Cast, please email: thebirdchad@gmail.com and keep these boys in burritos. 

Special thank to The Barreracudas for their kickass song "Promises" which will never leave us. 

Recorded at The Green Mill Lounge... in 2013

Please rate and review... We'd do it for you. 

Shteir Shtraights

Three weeks into 2018 and it's getting heavy. Chad and Clark are hunkered in the bunker doin secret work for the Resistance and while taking a snow break, they discover an old treasure trove of vintage Criterion Chad-Classic recordings from 2013. Clark chooses to spin one about author Rachel Shteir and her controversial comments about the state of affairs in Chicago. Simpler times, man, simpler times. 

Warning: Contains FACTS and mispronunciations. 

Featuring that tasty jam "Promises" by the Barreracudas. 

Recorded LIVE at the Green Mill Lounge

Rate and Review and we'll send you a flirty look. 

Joint Sessions

Chad got a shore leave from the Resistance to wander out of the bunker and check in on things. After learning of Attorney General Jeff Sessions rescinding the Obama-era memo that the Feds were gonna chill on weed crimes so the states can start making it legal, he and Clark call a little 420 filibuster, so put this episode in your pipe and smoke it because when they go low... Anyway what were we talking about?  

Featuring that bitchin tune "PROMISES" by the Barreracudas

Recorded LIVE at the Green Mill Lounge in Chicago 

Please rate and review and we'll show some skin. 

Bunker Down

Happy New Year, America! Chad and Clark hunker down to do some super secret work for the Resistance and in the process find an old album of Vintage Criterion Chad Classics from 2013 so they spin the wheel and choose one to chill too as they get to work on 2018. HUNKER DOWN, PUNKS! 

Featuring that bitchin tune "PROMISES" by the Barreracudas

Vintage Classic Recorded LIVE at the Green Mill Lounge in Chicago 

Please rate and review and we'll show some skin. 

A Special Star Wars Holiday Special ...Special

The Last Jedi is in theaters and it kicks ass (no spoilers) but it's a Butt-Hurt Fansmas Eve on the Internet, as many claim this was in fact the worst thing Star Wars has ever done... to which Chad says "Hold my blue milk" because that already happened and it was called "The Star Wars Holiday Special". Chad invites (kidnaps) ChadCast alum Jennifer Betancourt and Clark to watch the special so you don't have to and then with the help of the Wikipedia page, they scrape the ass-end of the Outer Rim so we can all gain perspective. Happy Life Day. 

Warning: Contains facts. 

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by the Barreracudas

Please Rate and Review cuz damn, you're pretty.

Warsmas: The Christmas War

The recording from the Green Mill was lost so Chad and Clark get cozy and go over the War on Christmas while experiencing Hygge, learning how to spell, the proper title for the Grinch book/movie and getting psyched for The Last Jedi. 

Warning: Contains facts. 

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by the Barreracudas

Please Rate and Review cuz damn, you're pretty.

StarMazing Marvel-ous Things

It's December, it's cold and that means: STAR WARS IS COMING! But also Marvel movies! The Infinity Wars trailer became the most viewed trailer in history but like so was Star Wars at one point and holy shit there's Black Panther too HOW WILL WE SURVIVE?! Good thing Chad and Clark are back from vacay. 

WARNING: Nerd Facts 

Recorded at the historic Green Mill Lounge in Chicago, IL 

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by the Barreracudas

Please Rate and Review cuz damn, you're pretty.

Pizza Good, Nazi Bad

It's Thanksgiving weekend and while you while away in your respective food coma, Chad goes over some basics for your head to digest. You are what you eat, America, so make good choices. Also Happy Spanksgiving from Chad and Clark... who are on vacay and probably already absolutely are definitely drunk. FEAST!

WARNING: Contains Facts 

Recorded at the historic Green Mill Lounge in Chicago, IL 

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by the Barreracudas

Please Rate and Review cuz damn, you're pretty.

DisgraceBook

So, like, we all know Social Media is probs not the best way for your brain to spend an afternoon but what is? Chad gathers ye all to the Town Hall for a bellringing about posting and Facebook. We also learn who Chad would be if he was a super hero but that's besides the point but also this is something you clicked on the internet.... so it's kinda the point. 

WARNING: Contains Facts 

Recorded at the historic Green Mill Lounge in Chicago, IL 

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by the Barreracudas

Please Rate and Review cuz damn, you're pretty.