Chad the Bird

The official site of your Avian Op-Ed Columnist

A Von Trier Family Holiday

Happy Holidays, America! It's that wonderful time of the year when love and warmth come from all around! And sometimes someone you least expect can bring out a little magic inside all of us... Unless you're Lars Von Trier in which case it's business as usual and business is gross.

WARNING: Clark is out of town so Chad is running the board, apologies if the sound sucks but know it was made with love for you.

Featuring the song "Promises" by the Barrerracudas, our holiday anthem.

Recorded LIVE at the Paper Machete at Chicago's Historic Green Mill Lounge and mixed with a hammer at BENDER Studios which Chad had to break into (PS: Clark, our security needs work)

Please rate and review and have a happy something.

StansGiving

It's the Feastival of Carbs, America and we took the time to honor a piece of true American nostalgia, history and a legend of the days yore: Stan Lee.

So as the carb coma embraces you, don't get up, take a moment to remember the master himself. Excelsior!

Featuring the festive tones of "Promises" by the Barrerracudas

Recorded LIVE at the Paper Machete at Chicago's Historic Green Mill Lounge and deep in the Upside-Down of BENDER Studios

Please rate and review and have good eats.

Do's and Don't-A-Ween w/Michael Turrentine

SOUND WARNING!!!! Seems one of the mics at BENDER Studios was haunted so Chad's gonna sound like he's in a well, be warned....

Actor Michael Turrentine joins Chad and Clark for a lightning round of Halloween Do's and Don'ts so you don't look like a jag this season. Turn the lights down low, get your candy on and absolutely DO NOT PLAY MONSTER MASH.

Shout-out to FRANKENSTEIN at Remy Bumppo come get your freak-o-ween on with Michael and an incredible cast!

Featuring the song "Promises" by the Barrerracudas, who are always on their Hallo-Game.

Recorded LIVE at the Historic Green Mill Lounge in Chicago and from the depths of the cursed dungeon known as BENDER Studios.

Please rate and review and have a happy Halloweeeeeen.

Squirrel Support

Lying in your bed you hear the clock tick and think of squirrel. Caught up in circles, squirrel-fusion is nothing new. Flashback, hug squirrel, almost left behind... the second squirrel unwinds IF YOU’RE LOST YOU CAN LOOK AND YOU WILL FIND SQUIRREL…

Unless you're on Frontier Airlines. Boo.

SHOUT OUT to WildClaw Theatre's TASTE OF DEATHSCRIBE at City Winery Chicago, MONDAY OCTOBER 22nd. GET IN THERE!

Featuring the song "Promises" by OUR support animals: The Barrerracuads

Recorded LIVE at the Historic Green Mill Lounge in Chicago IL and at BENDER Studios located somewhere... cozy.

Please rate and review, ya beautiful babies

What is Trebek?

So, after Alex Trebek's embarrassing performance at the gubernatorial debate in Pennsylvania on Oct. 1st, it's pretty clear: He needs a sidekick. Chad volunteers because that's what heroes do.

Also sidekicks.

SHOUT TO WildClaw Theatre, bringin’ their signature Horror Radio to City Winery FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY Monday October 22nd: https://citywinery.com/chicago/a-taste-of-deathscribe-10-22-18.html

Recorded LIVE at the Green Mill Lounge in Chicago for The Paper Machete and deep underground at BENDER Studios somewhere in your America...

Featuring the song "Promises" by the Barrerracudas which is the song of the revolution.

Please rate and review and keep on being you.

Nuclear Pasta

HUMANS! Are you hungry for the good stuff? Is your tummy grumblin' for some saucy knowledge? Are you starving for some intelligence these days when everyone seems to be serving up a hot plate of Stupid? Well come on down to the Chad Cast and eat up cuz this week is all about things rich in vitamin SCIEEEENNNNCCCCCE!!!! We got New Planets! We got New Stem Cells! We got the Hardest Substance in the Known Universe! So grab a seat anywhere, pop that napkin and get ready cuz it's comin out fresh and tasty! ORDER UP!

Featuring "Promises" by the Barrerracudas, who are always invited to dinner.

Recorded LIVE at the Paper Machete at Chicago's Green Mill Lounge and the world famous BENDER Studios!

Please rate and review and cite your sources.

Chad's True Crime Podcast

Murder.... it's the ultimate crime. The big M. The grande enchilada of badness… And you're so into it! So in an effort to achieve ultimate popularity, Chad brings you a True Crime Podcast episode about a strange case of blogs, books and aggressively pre-meditated, all-American, farm-to-table, 100% organic-as-advertised: Murder. Toke up.

Featuring "Promises" by the Barrerracudas ... who know what they did...

Recorded LIVE at The Paper Machete at the Historic Green Mill Lounge in Chicago and from BENDER Studios, located somewhere off the grid.

Please Rate and Review... and stay pretty.

Shoe-T Out

Colin Kaepernick took a knee in protest of a bunch of stuff that sucks right now about America but the good folks of Sports Town didn't like it... tune in to find out what happens in this rippin' yarn from a lawless country called: The Internet.

Also Clark's out of town so Chad's alone in the booth... sorry if it's weird.

Featuring the song "Promises" by the Barrerracudas

Recorded LIVE at the historic Green Mill Lounge in Chicago

Please rate... and review... namaste.

Burgers and Satan

On August 16th, 2018 a giant-ass bronze statue of a goatman was unveiled on the steps of the Arkansas State Capitol so it's the perfect time to grill up some meats and get METAL. Chad and Clark get into burgers, Googling, the Devil and YOU! Plus Chad got the whole room to yell HAIL, SATAN, which was pretty epic.

Featuring the song "Promises" by the Barrerracudas

Recorded LIVE at The Paper Machete at the Historic Green Mill Lounge in Chicago every Saturday at 3pm

Please rate and review and hail, Satan. 

CanniBOGUS

On a palindrome of a day (check it: 8-18-18) Chad blows the lid off K2 aka SPICE: A synthetic cannabinoid that's heavy on HEMPty promises and is also killing people making it the best argument for legalizing farm-to-table living, if you catch the whiff. Chad Challenge of the week: Describe all that is Chad using the four legendary letters in his name: C. H. A. D. Winner gets a T-Shirt with the winning acronym and probably a high-five. 


Big shout-out to PROVISIONS UPTOWN: https://www.facebook.com/ProvisionsUptown/ for getting the snacks. 

Special thanks to the Barrerracudas for all they do.

Recorded LIVE at the Historic Green Mill Lounge

Please rate and review and you'll know you're doing your part. 

A-Comedy Awards

CALLING ALL CINEPHILES AND TAPEHEADS: We're goin in. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has announced a new category for the Oscars and Chad has an announcement that may or may not be related in anyway!

SPOILER ALERT: It is.  

Featuring "Promises" by the Barrerracudas, Best Song winner every year in the Chad the Podcast awards... which is just the podcast. 

Recorded LIVE at Chicago's Historic Green Mill Lounge

Please rate and review and nominate and then vote. 

Movie? Pass.

Chad and Clark get down on MoviePass and why it's important to have patience. Patience and Passes. Pass Patience. Anyway we get into it about the good business of MoviePass and whether or not it is, in fact, good. Then we get into space travel and it all goes off the rails. Kinda like MoviePass. 

Featuring the song "Promises" by the Barrerracudas and YOU know why!

Recorded LIVE at the historic Green Mill Cocktail Lounge 

Please rate and review, you know you wanna. 

Our Sharkest Hour

Closing out the Trilogy of Terror (Spiders, Mummies...) Chad and Clark dive into the bloody waters of SHARK WEEK ...and it's not that bad. Calm down. Watch JAWS and then listen to this. Seriously, it's fine. Sharks are great.

Featuring "Promises" by the Barrerracudas, our brothers under the sea.

Recorded LIVE at the Historic Green Mill Lounge in Chicago.

 

Mummy Deadest

The largest sarcophagus ever unearthed in Alexandria has been... unearthed. And what with the current state of the state of things currently... Is now REALLY the best time to open it? Chad and Clark go deep.

Featuring "Promises" by the Barrerracudas

Recorded LIVE at the Historic Green Mill Lounge in Chicago

Please rate, review and don't drink any bone juice.

Special shout-out to WildClaw Theatre's DEATHSCRIBE: http://www.wildclawtheatre.com/deathscribe/

You have until JULY 31st to give them your nightmares.

Why-der Spider

Get yer hot pants on, baby, cuz Chad's goin dancin at club SCIENCE!!! The news is: Researchers in Bristol have proven that spiders use a very unique method when they fly so press play and find out what's up!

PS: Holy shit, spiders can fly...

Featuring "Promises" by the Barrerracudas, which is scientifically proven to be awesome.

And a lil taste of "Spider" by They Might Be Giants... Please come on the show.

As well as a little of The Who's "Boris the Spider" ... Also …please come on the show.

BIG SHOUT OUT PLUG: WildClaw Theatre is still accepting submissions for this year's DEATHSCRIBE. You have until July 31st to give them your nightmares.

Please rate and review and be nice to spiders.

Toys R Gone

The last Toys R Us closed on Thursday June 28th and Chad was asked to deliver the eulogy. Come on in, be respectful, talk low and take this time to reflect. Special thanks to the immaculate Bill Larkin for providing some music for the event. BYO-Tissues

Featuring "Promises" by the Barrerracudas, always the song for the occasion. 

Recorded LIVE at the Historic Green Mill Cocktail Lounge, Chicago. 

Please rate and review as you exit. 

Adult Quidditch

It's that time again, ya hooligans! Chad is trashed cuz he was drinking at 6am cuz the match was on so bare with him but don't judge cuz it's the World Cup and why aren't YOU... trashed... in the afternoon cuz your roommate woke you up at 6am to watch Argentina and eat sausages? It's just logic, yo. 

Recorded LIVE at Chicago's Historic Green Mill Lounge 

Featuring the Spartan battle chant known as "Promises" by the Barrerracudas as well as the official war cry of crocked Liverpool footie: "You'll Never Walk Alone" by Gerry and the Pacemakers

Please rate and review, if you got the stones. 

HOP-HOB

Chad's BACK! After a bitch of a deuce-weeks, Chad's back on the beat from vacation, dropping some fresh poetry about the recent change from IHOP to IHOB so turn off your day and turn on your mind, man and let's get real... And then we'll talk about burgers. 

Featuring the song "Promises", man, with that steady beat. 

Recorded LIVE at the Green Mill Cocktail Lounge

Please rate and review, ya dig