Chad the Bird

The official site of your Avian Op-Ed Columnist

And Introducing: Dr. Sugar

New Coke, new candy, new ice cream: New ways to get your sugar are coming to you, America, we know you've been grinding your teeth lately. Meanwhile Chad has a blood pressure spike after eating too many Most Stuff Oreos and develops a brand new personality named Doctor Sugar. Take the ride and eat a salad.

Featuring the sweetest song "Promises" by the Barrerracudas

Recorded LIVE by Jacob Serio at the Historic Green Mill Cocktail Lounge and then deep in the dark void called BENDER Studios.

Please rate and review and hydrate.

The Day After Last Week

2019 Season 2: After last week's cliffhanger, it is revealed that Chad and Clark did survive the Polar Vortex and Chad breaks down during the breakdown of all the science that made it happen.

Featuring the song "Promises" by the Barrerracudas that will survive any disaster

Recorded LIVE courtesy of Jacob Serio at The Paper Machete at Chicago's Historic Green Mill Lounge and THEN in the winter-proof candyland we call BENDER Studios.

Please rate and review and STAY WHERE YOU ARE! WE WILL FIND YOU!!

EMERGENCY: Monkey Episode

TRIGGER WARNING: Contains the actual sound of the Emergency Broadcast System which totally freaks me out whenever I hear it. I blame the movie TWISTER…

Anyhow, Clark and I were unable to bro-down cuz the Polar Vortex attacked Chicago with -50 degree wind chills and forced us all underground. We're low on beer but we're surviving. Anyhow, here's a story about monkeys.

WARNING: Contains Monkeys

And the song "Promises" by the Barrerracudas, no clones, all fresh.

Recorded LIVE at The Paper Machete at Chicago's Historic Green Mill Lounge and then from the sub-zero hellscape of the Polar Vortex

Please rate and review.

Kondoetry

Brew some java and stretch out your finger snappin muscles cuz Chad wrote a poem about the Mystical, Magical, Genius-Badass, Guru of Neatness herself: Marie Kondo. Perfect background noise for cleaning your damn room.

Featuring "Promises" by the Barrerracudas, who always keep it tight.

Recorded LIVE at The Paper Machete at Chicago's Historic Green Mill Lounge courtesy of Jacob Serio and then from the shiny and clean BENDER Studios located somewhere classy.

Please rate and review and clean your room.

Good Tea

The richest man in the world, Jeff Bezos, is getting a divorce and though that may seem like NBD it's actually a BD cuz that can F up a whole company which is crazy AF. Catch up on all the Bezossip as Chad gives a hot take on some good tea.

Featuring "Promises" by the Barrerracudas which is the realness.

Recorded LIVE at the Paper Machete at Chicago's Historic Green Mill Lounge and then deep in the dark cave of gossip we call BENDER studios

Please rate and review, ya hurd

Veganuary Wishes

Greetings, Future You! Welcome to 2019. Chad and Clark ring in the New talkin about their favorite subject: Food! Cuz no matter what your resolutions, your plans, your visions for the next round of your Youness, don’t forget: You are what you eat. So eat right ...now!

Featuring the timeless classic “Promises” by the Barrerracudas

Recorded LIVE at The Paper Machete at Chicago’s historic Green Mill Lounge and deep in the center of the hot neutron star called BENDER Studios.

Please rate and review, we’d do it for you.

Bird Box in Your Soul

It's the last episode of 2018. Chad is still stuck at the airport, people are gearing up for a celebration in honor of the closing bell of the year that came and went like a drunk clown at a birthday party that decided to light themselves on fire instead of just callin it. But instead of reflecting, reminiscing, remembering the times bad and good, y'all just wanna talk about BIRD BOX. So fine, let's close this out with that. HAPPY NEW YEAR YA LUNATICS! See you in the future.

PS: Spoilers cuz you asked for it.

Featuring that sprightly song of this and every year "Promises" by the Barrerracudas

Recorded LIVE at The Paper Machete at Chicago's Historic Green Mill Lounge and from the VOOOID!

Please rate and review... and keep on truckin.

Money, Nuns and Greed

Chad has been lost in the Holiday Vortex and all he could manage to do from the void was leave you a phone message and an episode from two weeks ago: St. James Catholic School was robbed and here's the scoop, no nunsense at all.

Recorded LIVE at The Paper Machete at Chicago's Historic Green Mill Lounge and FROM THE VOOOIIID.

Featuring "Promises" by the Barrerracudas, Happy Holidays, gents!

Please Rate and Review and have a good evening.

Mars Needs Roombas

Whattap podcast traveler! Why don't you take a damn break for once, ok? Doesn't matter where you are, what's up, who you're with: We can't see ya. So get comfy and join Chad on a journey to the STAAAARS!!

And by that we mean MAAAAAARS!

And also a bunch of shit about robots, no spoilers just relax.

PLEASE rate and review so we know how to please you.

Recorded LIVE at the Paper Machete at Chicago's Historic Green Mill Lounge and at the subterranean secret lair the kids call BENDER Studios.

Featuring the hit song "Barrerracudas" that all said kids are talkin' about.

A Von Trier Family Holiday

Happy Holidays, America! It's that wonderful time of the year when love and warmth come from all around! And sometimes someone you least expect can bring out a little magic inside all of us... Unless you're Lars Von Trier in which case it's business as usual and business is gross.

WARNING: Clark is out of town so Chad is running the board, apologies if the sound sucks but know it was made with love for you.

Featuring the song "Promises" by the Barrerracudas, our holiday anthem.

Recorded LIVE at the Paper Machete at Chicago's Historic Green Mill Lounge and mixed with a hammer at BENDER Studios which Chad had to break into (PS: Clark, our security needs work)

Please rate and review and have a happy something.

StansGiving

It's the Feastival of Carbs, America and we took the time to honor a piece of true American nostalgia, history and a legend of the days yore: Stan Lee.

So as the carb coma embraces you, don't get up, take a moment to remember the master himself. Excelsior!

Featuring the festive tones of "Promises" by the Barrerracudas

Recorded LIVE at the Paper Machete at Chicago's Historic Green Mill Lounge and deep in the Upside-Down of BENDER Studios

Please rate and review and have good eats.

Do's and Don't-A-Ween w/Michael Turrentine

SOUND WARNING!!!! Seems one of the mics at BENDER Studios was haunted so Chad's gonna sound like he's in a well, be warned....

Actor Michael Turrentine joins Chad and Clark for a lightning round of Halloween Do's and Don'ts so you don't look like a jag this season. Turn the lights down low, get your candy on and absolutely DO NOT PLAY MONSTER MASH.

Shout-out to FRANKENSTEIN at Remy Bumppo come get your freak-o-ween on with Michael and an incredible cast!

Featuring the song "Promises" by the Barrerracudas, who are always on their Hallo-Game.

Recorded LIVE at the Historic Green Mill Lounge in Chicago and from the depths of the cursed dungeon known as BENDER Studios.

Please rate and review and have a happy Halloweeeeeen.

Squirrel Support

Lying in your bed you hear the clock tick and think of squirrel. Caught up in circles, squirrel-fusion is nothing new. Flashback, hug squirrel, almost left behind... the second squirrel unwinds IF YOU’RE LOST YOU CAN LOOK AND YOU WILL FIND SQUIRREL…

Unless you're on Frontier Airlines. Boo.

SHOUT OUT to WildClaw Theatre's TASTE OF DEATHSCRIBE at City Winery Chicago, MONDAY OCTOBER 22nd. GET IN THERE!

Featuring the song "Promises" by OUR support animals: The Barrerracuads

Recorded LIVE at the Historic Green Mill Lounge in Chicago IL and at BENDER Studios located somewhere... cozy.

Please rate and review, ya beautiful babies

What is Trebek?

So, after Alex Trebek's embarrassing performance at the gubernatorial debate in Pennsylvania on Oct. 1st, it's pretty clear: He needs a sidekick. Chad volunteers because that's what heroes do.

Also sidekicks.

SHOUT TO WildClaw Theatre, bringin’ their signature Horror Radio to City Winery FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY Monday October 22nd: https://citywinery.com/chicago/a-taste-of-deathscribe-10-22-18.html

Recorded LIVE at the Green Mill Lounge in Chicago for The Paper Machete and deep underground at BENDER Studios somewhere in your America...

Featuring the song "Promises" by the Barrerracudas which is the song of the revolution.

Please rate and review and keep on being you.

Nuclear Pasta

HUMANS! Are you hungry for the good stuff? Is your tummy grumblin' for some saucy knowledge? Are you starving for some intelligence these days when everyone seems to be serving up a hot plate of Stupid? Well come on down to the Chad Cast and eat up cuz this week is all about things rich in vitamin SCIEEEENNNNCCCCCE!!!! We got New Planets! We got New Stem Cells! We got the Hardest Substance in the Known Universe! So grab a seat anywhere, pop that napkin and get ready cuz it's comin out fresh and tasty! ORDER UP!

Featuring "Promises" by the Barrerracudas, who are always invited to dinner.

Recorded LIVE at the Paper Machete at Chicago's Green Mill Lounge and the world famous BENDER Studios!

Please rate and review and cite your sources.

Chad's True Crime Podcast

Murder.... it's the ultimate crime. The big M. The grande enchilada of badness… And you're so into it! So in an effort to achieve ultimate popularity, Chad brings you a True Crime Podcast episode about a strange case of blogs, books and aggressively pre-meditated, all-American, farm-to-table, 100% organic-as-advertised: Murder. Toke up.

Featuring "Promises" by the Barrerracudas ... who know what they did...

Recorded LIVE at The Paper Machete at the Historic Green Mill Lounge in Chicago and from BENDER Studios, located somewhere off the grid.

Please Rate and Review... and stay pretty.

Shoe-T Out

Colin Kaepernick took a knee in protest of a bunch of stuff that sucks right now about America but the good folks of Sports Town didn't like it... tune in to find out what happens in this rippin' yarn from a lawless country called: The Internet.

Also Clark's out of town so Chad's alone in the booth... sorry if it's weird.

Featuring the song "Promises" by the Barrerracudas

Recorded LIVE at the historic Green Mill Lounge in Chicago

Please rate... and review... namaste.

Burgers and Satan

On August 16th, 2018 a giant-ass bronze statue of a goatman was unveiled on the steps of the Arkansas State Capitol so it's the perfect time to grill up some meats and get METAL. Chad and Clark get into burgers, Googling, the Devil and YOU! Plus Chad got the whole room to yell HAIL, SATAN, which was pretty epic.

Featuring the song "Promises" by the Barrerracudas

Recorded LIVE at The Paper Machete at the Historic Green Mill Lounge in Chicago every Saturday at 3pm

Please rate and review and hail, Satan.