Chad the Bird

The official site of your Avian Op-Ed Columnist

Water We Waiting For

Well their assignment is up and Clark and Chad have one more night in the Bunker for the Resistance. To celebrate they unearth a classic from 2013 about the Water Sommelier of LA and Chad invents a new party word that's totally gonna catch on. 

Includes the song "Promises" by the Barreracudas cuz that's the ol chestnut. 

If you have any donations you'd like to offer, please email thebirdchad@gmail.com to keep the fires lit

Please rate and review cuz that's the way we win

Criterion Classic Recorded LIVE at the Green Mill Lounge 2013
 

Candy or Mildly Interesting, Less Upsetting News

It's one more week before Chad and Clark are released from duty for the Resistance and it's a good thing too because it's starting to get boring over there. Luckily they dust off an old chestnut from 4/20 2013 called "Candy News" and neither of them have any idea what it's about. Could be about candy, could be about pot but it's probably about when they caught the Boston Marathon Bomber, so hold on cuz anything is better than nothing. 

If you have a business or money and would like to sponsor the Chad Cast please email: thebirdchad@gmail.com

Thanks to the Barreracudas and they know why. 

Recorded LIVE at the Green Mill Lounge in Chicago 

Please rate and review and we'll take it off. 

Hamm on the Boners

Cabin fever is setting in as Chad and Clark stick out the rest of their assignment in the Resistance sequestered in the Bunker, going through old Chad stories from 2013. Chad pulls a vintage classic about John Hamm and his phallic photographic scandal. Come snuggle with them as they discuss Time, Vans and melting stuff. You know, typical bro stuff. 

Chad will be back at the Machete on February 10th, bringing YOU up-to-date stories of your world but in the meantime, it's been a slog not workin the room and they're super broke, so if you have a business or like money to burn and would like to sponsor the Chad Cast, please email: thebirdchad@gmail.com and keep these boys in burritos. 

Special thank to The Barreracudas for their kickass song "Promises" which will never leave us. 

Recorded at The Green Mill Lounge... in 2013

Please rate and review... We'd do it for you. 

Shteir Shtraights

Three weeks into 2018 and it's getting heavy. Chad and Clark are hunkered in the bunker doin secret work for the Resistance and while taking a snow break, they discover an old treasure trove of vintage Criterion Chad-Classic recordings from 2013. Clark chooses to spin one about author Rachel Shteir and her controversial comments about the state of affairs in Chicago. Simpler times, man, simpler times. 

Warning: Contains FACTS and mispronunciations. 

Featuring that tasty jam "Promises" by the Barreracudas. 

Recorded LIVE at the Green Mill Lounge

Rate and Review and we'll send you a flirty look. 

Joint Sessions

Chad got a shore leave from the Resistance to wander out of the bunker and check in on things. After learning of Attorney General Jeff Sessions rescinding the Obama-era memo that the Feds were gonna chill on weed crimes so the states can start making it legal, he and Clark call a little 420 filibuster, so put this episode in your pipe and smoke it because when they go low... Anyway what were we talking about?  

Featuring that bitchin tune "PROMISES" by the Barreracudas

Recorded LIVE at the Green Mill Lounge in Chicago 

Please rate and review and we'll show some skin. 

Bunker Down

Happy New Year, America! Chad and Clark hunker down to do some super secret work for the Resistance and in the process find an old album of Vintage Criterion Chad Classics from 2013 so they spin the wheel and choose one to chill too as they get to work on 2018. HUNKER DOWN, PUNKS! 

Featuring that bitchin tune "PROMISES" by the Barreracudas

Vintage Classic Recorded LIVE at the Green Mill Lounge in Chicago 

Please rate and review and we'll show some skin. 

A Special Star Wars Holiday Special ...Special

The Last Jedi is in theaters and it kicks ass (no spoilers) but it's a Butt-Hurt Fansmas Eve on the Internet, as many claim this was in fact the worst thing Star Wars has ever done... to which Chad says "Hold my blue milk" because that already happened and it was called "The Star Wars Holiday Special". Chad invites (kidnaps) ChadCast alum Jennifer Betancourt and Clark to watch the special so you don't have to and then with the help of the Wikipedia page, they scrape the ass-end of the Outer Rim so we can all gain perspective. Happy Life Day. 

Warning: Contains facts. 

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by the Barreracudas

Please Rate and Review cuz damn, you're pretty.

Warsmas: The Christmas War

The recording from the Green Mill was lost so Chad and Clark get cozy and go over the War on Christmas while experiencing Hygge, learning how to spell, the proper title for the Grinch book/movie and getting psyched for The Last Jedi. 

Warning: Contains facts. 

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by the Barreracudas

Please Rate and Review cuz damn, you're pretty.

StarMazing Marvel-ous Things

It's December, it's cold and that means: STAR WARS IS COMING! But also Marvel movies! The Infinity Wars trailer became the most viewed trailer in history but like so was Star Wars at one point and holy shit there's Black Panther too HOW WILL WE SURVIVE?! Good thing Chad and Clark are back from vacay. 

WARNING: Nerd Facts 

Recorded at the historic Green Mill Lounge in Chicago, IL 

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by the Barreracudas

Please Rate and Review cuz damn, you're pretty.

Pizza Good, Nazi Bad

It's Thanksgiving weekend and while you while away in your respective food coma, Chad goes over some basics for your head to digest. You are what you eat, America, so make good choices. Also Happy Spanksgiving from Chad and Clark... who are on vacay and probably already absolutely are definitely drunk. FEAST!

WARNING: Contains Facts 

Recorded at the historic Green Mill Lounge in Chicago, IL 

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by the Barreracudas

Please Rate and Review cuz damn, you're pretty.

DisgraceBook

So, like, we all know Social Media is probs not the best way for your brain to spend an afternoon but what is? Chad gathers ye all to the Town Hall for a bellringing about posting and Facebook. We also learn who Chad would be if he was a super hero but that's besides the point but also this is something you clicked on the internet.... so it's kinda the point. 

WARNING: Contains Facts 

Recorded at the historic Green Mill Lounge in Chicago, IL 

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by the Barreracudas

Please Rate and Review cuz damn, you're pretty.

Public Privacy: Let's Talk About It

Chad promised last week that this would be a fun one annnnd well, 2017 happens. Millie Bobby Brown (Stranger Things "Eleven") was voted WORST DRESSED at the MTV Movie/TV Awards due to her "shapeless" dress and in the wake of all the private skeevery in Hollywood coming to public light: We gotta talk about this.

WARNING: Serious talk. 

Recorded at the historic Green Mill Lounge in Chicago, IL 

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by the Barreracudas

Please Rate and Review cuz damn, you're pretty.

Barstool Bro Down

BRO-M-G, brahs! There's a scandal at ESPN that goes back to ancient times and old obsessions. Hear ye the tale of the BRO-lossal journey to hunt and capture the Super Bowl only to fail and resort to more BROffesive methods and the army of Trolls unleashed, a BROfound legend indeed. 

WARNING: Contains facts. 

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by the Barreracudas

Please Rate and Review cuz damn, you're pretty.

The Halloween Spook-tac-u-BLEH! w/Adam Burke and Randall Colburn

It's the ghost wonderful time of the YAAAHH so Chad and Clark got Consequence of Sound/The Loser's Club: A Stephen King Podcast's own Randall Colburn and Chicago Stand-Up/Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me's own Adam Burke to talk horror movies good, bad and ugly. Tune in...if you daaare....which you should because it's pretty informative. 

WARNING: Contains SCAAAARY facts 

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by the Barreracudas

Please Rate and Review cuz damn, you're pretty.
 

A Chad Classic: Pressing News

Chad goes back to the vault to pull out a Chad Classic from Oct. 2014: Ben Bradlee, pioneering giant in the world of journalism has died but do you know who he was? Chad takes you through it and even surprises himself at how press-cient this classic was. Brew some coffee and get this episode on your desk by NOON or you're FIRED! 

WARNING: Contains facts 

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by the Barreracudas

Recorded LIVE at the Green Mill Lounge, Chicago IL 

Please Rate and Review cuz damn, you're pretty.
 

Volca-No Worries

So it looks like Science was wrong about the speed at which a volcano erupts. Not that it matter cuz like, everyone's about to pop anyway so Chad gets stupid drunk, waves the white flag of CHILLYOURNUTSOUT-astan and talks movies with Clark. 

WARNING: Contains facts 

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by the Barreracudas

Recorded LIVE at the Green Mill Lounge, Chicago IL 

Please Rate and Review cuz damn, you're pretty.

ReMakeBoot: The Movie

In the wake of BLADE RUNNER 2049, it's time to reevaluate the remake, reboot and sequel Good thing there's a buttload coming up to use as examples. Chad runs down some history and then runs screaming down ReMemory Lane to wake up the sheeples and remind them that memories matter and movies are life and even reveals the one movie no one should ever touch for fear of a violent Chad-taliation. 

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by the Barreracudas

Recorded LIVE at the Green Mill Lounge, Chicago IL 

Please Rate and Review cuz damn, you're pretty.

Whiskey and Blasphemy feat. Jennifer Betancourt

September 30th is International Blasphemy Day which kicks ass but in the wake of another senseless tragedy, Fall 2017 is off to a shit start, so Chad invites Chicago actress Jennifer Betancourt over to drink whiskeys from the super-fancy-but-totally-not-a-sponsor-but-super-should-be Norlan Whiskey Glasses (NEAT!) as Clark hangs in the background cuz he's sick. Drinking Game Rules: Do a shot every time there's a clinky and keep it together because we're all in it together. Dedicated to Tom Petty, Las Vegas, Denmark and You. 

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by the Barreracudas

Recorded LIVE at the Green Mill Lounge, Chicago IL 

Please Rate and Review cuz damn, you're pretty.

 

Quantum Aronofsky

Scientists have successfully Quantum-Teleported a message on a beam of light and like, that's insane and everything, but what's more insane is that people still go to Darren Aronofsky's movies even though they only watch them once and never again. Coincidence? We just don't know. We'll have to turn to our old pal SCIENCE! 

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by the Barreracudas

Recorded LIVE at the Green Mill Lounge, Chicago IL 

Please Rate and Review cuz damn, you're pretty. 

Episode 80: IT Happens

It's the 80th Episode, babies! Chad and Clark decide to go to the movies and see the #1 film in the world: Andy Muschietti's IT. Afterwards they'll review what is certainly going to be a delightful romp about a boy and his imaginary clown friend who just wants to give him a balloon! Oh it's just gonna be delightful! Joys! Laughs! Clowns! Balloons! Wait...what is this movie about? 

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by the Barreracudas

Recorded LIVE in Clark's car. 

Please Rate and Review cuz damn, you're pretty.