Chad the Bird

The official site of your Avian Op-Ed Columnist

LottaPaloozing

LottaPaloozing
Chad the Bird 07.30.16

Due to increased political discourse, Chad the Bird resorted to self-assigning coverage of Lollapalooza in the Grant Park area of Chicago, where he fell victim to a chemically induced altered-state after “totally just, I don’t know, breathing” in close proximity to the music festival. What follows is...what happened. 

LIVE from The Paper Machete at the Green Mill Lounge

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas

 

RIP VHS

RIP VHS
Chad the Bird 07.23.16

The last company to make new VCRs, Funai Co., is shutting down production for good. So say goodbye to a legacy and an era and hello to the ones in the pawnshops, in the basement that you never learned to program, hell you can still get one at BEST BUY.... Whatever it's a fun episode, just have fun, jeez, let it go. 

LIVE from The Paper Machete at the Green Mill Lounge

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas

Ecto-1-der Women

Ecto-1-der Women
Chad the Bird 7.16.16

After a brief affirmation, Chad gets nostalgic looking under his couch for knick-knacks which leads him to his live, spoiler-free, ain't afraid'a'no bros Chadpinion of the new "Ghostbusters".

LIVE from The Paper Machete at the Green Mill Lounge

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas

 

Copyrock 'N Roll

Copyrock and Roll
Chad the Bird 06.25.16

Do you know your Led Zeppelin/Spirit "Stairway to Heaven"/"Taurus" lawsuit facts? You need to know the facts. Know the facts*.

LIVE from The Paper Machete at the Green Mill Lounge, Chicago

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas

*may contain facts

 

Tariffic

Tariffic
Chad the Bird 06.18.16

It may always be sunny in Philadelphia but that sun is now 1.5 cents more expensive, so twist open your Diet Mountain Dew as Chad checks your first world problems. 

LIVE from the Green Mill Lounge, Chicago

featuring "Promises" by The Barreracudas

A Serious Chad

A Serious Chad
Chad the Bird 06.14.16

A mass shooting in Orlando, Chad calls it, no show, no goddamn anything and just reads an old poem cuz fuck it. Close your eyes and escape. Next week will be super fun. 

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas

Double-click to edit...

Gawkamania

Gawkamania
Chad the Bird 05.28.16

Hulk Hogan made a sex tape and then sued Gawker for releasing it...and that's just the beginning, brother. 

- LIVE from The Paper Machete at the Green Mill Lounge

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas

Back to the Gooture

Back to the Gooture
Chad the Bird 05.21.16

Google Cars get sticky for safety and the internet got cranky. There's just pleasin' anyone these days...

- LIVE from The Paper Machete at the Green Mill Lounge

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas

Urn After Reading

Urn After Reading
Chad the Bird 05.14.16

Cremation is the number way to get rid of your leftovers so here's how it's done and how it's done right and how one funeral home in Colorado did it so wrong for so long. Let's cook. 

- LIVE from The Paper Machete at the Green Mill Lounge

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas

A Vape-raisal of the Situation

A Vape-raisal of the Situation
Chad the Bird 05.07.16

So Vaping's a thing, right? And if you're not down with the strawberry-scented-nicotine-juice-cloud, you might be in the right and NOT actually a hater. Get ready to chuck some knowledge, bro! 

- LIVE from The Paper Machete at the Green Mill Lounge

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas