Chad the Bird

The official site of your Avian Op-Ed Columnist

Why-der Spider

Get yer hot pants on, baby, cuz Chad's goin dancin at club SCIENCE!!! The news is: Researchers in Bristol have proven that spiders use a very unique method when they fly so press play and find out what's up!

PS: Holy shit, spiders can fly...

Featuring "Promises" by the Barrerracudas, which is scientifically proven to be awesome.

And a lil taste of "Spider" by They Might Be Giants... Please come on the show.

As well as a little of The Who's "Boris the Spider" ... Also …please come on the show.

BIG SHOUT OUT PLUG: WildClaw Theatre is still accepting submissions for this year's DEATHSCRIBE. You have until July 31st to give them your nightmares.

Please rate and review and be nice to spiders.

Toys R Gone

The last Toys R Us closed on Thursday June 28th and Chad was asked to deliver the eulogy. Come on in, be respectful, talk low and take this time to reflect. Special thanks to the immaculate Bill Larkin for providing some music for the event. BYO-Tissues

Featuring "Promises" by the Barrerracudas, always the song for the occasion. 

Recorded LIVE at the Historic Green Mill Cocktail Lounge, Chicago. 

Please rate and review as you exit. 

Adult Quidditch

It's that time again, ya hooligans! Chad is trashed cuz he was drinking at 6am cuz the match was on so bare with him but don't judge cuz it's the World Cup and why aren't YOU... trashed... in the afternoon cuz your roommate woke you up at 6am to watch Argentina and eat sausages? It's just logic, yo. 

Recorded LIVE at Chicago's Historic Green Mill Lounge 

Featuring the Spartan battle chant known as "Promises" by the Barrerracudas as well as the official war cry of crocked Liverpool footie: "You'll Never Walk Alone" by Gerry and the Pacemakers

Please rate and review, if you got the stones. 


Chad's BACK! After a bitch of a deuce-weeks, Chad's back on the beat from vacation, dropping some fresh poetry about the recent change from IHOP to IHOB so turn off your day and turn on your mind, man and let's get real... And then we'll talk about burgers. 

Featuring the song "Promises", man, with that steady beat. 

Recorded LIVE at the Green Mill Cocktail Lounge

Please rate and review, ya dig

BONUS EPISODE: Spoilin' Solo (w/Jennifer Betancourt)

Chad and Clark were still on vacation, and the news was bad enough so they decided to ask their friend Jen to go check out that new Star Wars movie...


Featuring the song "Promises" by the Barrerracudas which is the song of the revolution

Recorded live somewhere a long time ago in a galaxy not too far from Aurora, IL

Please rate and review!!

The Vacation Episode: Maxin' Relaxin' and Marvelin'

Chad and Clark are on holiday baby, but that doesn't stop them from Chad Casting. Chad pulls an unaired Chadpinion Piece from May 2nd 2018 about The Avengers: Infinity War and they kick back with some margaritas and talk nerd. Join them, won't you? 

Recorded LIVE at The Paper Machete Cocktail Hour 05/02/18 at Chicago's historic Green Mill Lounge

Featuring Chad's personal Infinity Stone: "Promises" by the Barrerracudas

Please rate and review and then slam a margarita 

The Coin

Chad goes HAM on a replica of an unreleased North Korean Summit Challenge Coin commemorating the summit that didn't happen and may not actually exist. It's just SO 2018, right? Drink up!

Features "Promises" by the Barrerracudas, who do in fact exist.

Recorded LIVE at The Paper Machete at Chicago's Historic Green Mill Lounge

Please rate and review, because that's how we win.

Royally Good Times

Chad was granted the unprecedented honor of receiving an invitation to the wedding of the year, as Meghan Markle became Duchess of Sussex upon her marriage to Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex so listen to the tale of jet lag, Stonehenge and why you don't wear a tux on a plane. Strap this on your head. 

Featuring the Royal song "Promises" by the Barrerracudas

Recorded in the DugOut.

Please rate and review because that's how it do. 

Kentucky Derpy

With the triangulation of Cinco de Mayo, Free Comic Book Day and the Kentucky Derby occurring at 10am on May 5th 2018, Chad the Bird was caught in a "cross-fire of drunken behavior" authorities say originated somewhere in the north suburbs and had infiltrated the city through the Red and Purple lines. The following incident was recorded live. 

LIVE from The Paper Machete at the Green Mill Lounge Chicago 

Featuring "Promises" by the Barrerracudas... who disavow all knowledge of these events. 

Please please please .... rate and review

And email Chad at

BONUS EPISODE: Church Party Joy Down

Sunday, April 29th 2018: Gilead Church Chicago asked Chad to come to their "Surprise Party"-themed Storytelling services and throw down some Joy which he was down to do... cuz there was beer, no shame, but rated G cuz Church so listen with your kids, it's totally fine.


Featuring the song "Promises" by the Barrerracudas which is a daily affirmation, get right with it.

Recorded LIVE at Gilead Chicago (7006 N Glenwood)

Please rate and review and email Chad at

Incel Inside

Deep down in the dark web, there are internet dwellers called Incels that believe they are owed sex simply cuz they are alive but they are being denied this sex because Alpha males are taking all the sex. They call these A-Males: Chads. So there's.... that.  

Apology recorded LIVE at The Paper Machete at the historic Green Mill Lounge 

Featuring the greatest song ever written "Promises" by the Barrerracudas

Please rate and review and also email Chad at 

Chris Shifty

So Chris Christie's gubernatorial portrait will cost taxpayers $85,000 which is more than his three predecessors combined and we learn that respect is something you can make others buy for you! THANKS C-CHRIS! 

Featuring the song "Promises" by the Barrerracudas which is now stuck in your head. 

Recorded LIVE at the Green Mill Lounge in Chicago 

Please let Chad know you're thinking about him at

And rate and review, you sassy thing. 

Wrongky Kong - The Ballad of Billy Mitchell

Hear ye! Hear ye! Donkey FRAUD: The King of Kong has been dethroned! Gather round ye fellow peoples as Chad decries the rise and fall of Billy Mitchell! And also some other rambly bits about games and stuff. Get cozy. 

Recorded LIVE at The Paper Machete AT the Green Mill Cocktail Lounge (Every Saturday 3pm). 

Featuring the song "Promises" by the Barrerracudas

You can email Chad himself at

Please rate and review, ya hurd?! 


Easter and Passover are happening in the same weekend here in Year 2018 but that's not the weird part... What really Fox's Chad's Mulder is "Why doesn't anyone know when they are going to be except Walgreens?!" Stay frosty, we'll figure this out. And then there's candy.

Kickass song "Promises" by the Barrerracudas

Recorded LIVE at the Green Mill Lounge Chicago, IL

Please email Chad

And rate and review because the world needs to know. 

A Chad Classic: Air BBWnB

On a very special Chad the Podcast: Chad goes back into the vault to find a story from March 22nd 2014 about a man, his couch and a surprise orgy that changed their lives. Classic. 

Theme song "Promises" by the Barrerracudas is now stuck in your head.

Please email Chad at whenever you're feelin' it. 

Please rate and review cuz that's nice too. 

Wonder Mind

On March 14th 2018, the great Stephen Hawking passed away into whatever math the universe has for us. Take a minute with Chad as he remembers the unstoppable mind that once lived here on Earth with us...

...and then watch this cuz it's hilarious:

Recorded LIVE at the Green Mill Lounge

"Promises" by the Barrerracudas is the song of the revolution.

Please rate and review. We would for you. 

...And Alexa Laughed

We were late ok? We missed a week but it was because things were sad and like we were not having it. So here's a beat poem about Amazon Echoes. 

Recorded LIVE at the Green Mill Lounge, Chicago IL

"Promises" by the Barrerracudas (used with all permissions and handshakes and ragin' parties)

Rate. Review. Grade us on a curve... whatev man just do it.   

Putting the Fun in Funeral

Dearly beloved, we gather this episode together in community and in peace as Chad goes East (or West, depending on the flight) all the way to Taiwan to learn about the quaint rural custom of Funeral Strippers. Settle in. 

Featuring "Promises" by the Barrerracudas, the song of the revolution. 

Recorded LIVE at the Green Mill Lounge in Chicago 

Please rate and review and we'll do it for you. 

Eat Your Feelings

On February 14th 2018, 17 teenagers were murdered by a gunman in Parkland, FL. So the news ain't so great. Wasn't much of anything else to Chad about so it's back to the ol Criterion Collection. Chad pulls a story from 2013 about scientific discoveries involving Cannibalism in Jamestown (you know, to help cope) and ends up getting hungry. That's where we're at. 

If you'd like to get involved, here are some Chad-approved websites and resources:

And don't forget to VOTE in the midterms. Be the change you want to see. 

Special thanks to the Barrerracudas for their kickass song "Promises" which keeps us feeling ok. 
Recorded LIVE at the Green Mill Lounge in 2013
Please rate and review and we'll keep it up. 

Super Balls

It's that time of the year! Frosty winds, hot dishes and friends gathering for that most sacred of potlucks: The SuperBowl. But if you're really watching it for the commercials than maybe there's a problem. Chad is back and outta the Bunker to talk about the history of the SuperBowl's Half-Time show as we pause to ponder if it's really just all about the nachos. 

Featuring "Promises" by the Barreracudas, that ol chestnut.

Recorded live at the Green Mill Lounge

Please rate and review because that's what the cools kids are doing these days.