Chad the Bird

The official site of your Avian Op-Ed Columnist

Hugs and Poems: Drinking and Dealing

Hugs and Poems: Drinking and Dealing
Chad the Bird 11.09.16

Presented without permission but with all the love I have to Shel Silverstein. Please drink and smoke while listening. 

LIVE from The Paper Machete at the Green Mill Lounge

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas

Also totally available on iTunes just look for Chad the Podcast.

Rate and review cuz you're great. 

Bob'n For Prizes

Bob'n For Prizes
Chad the Bird 10.15.16

The winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature has been announced so that means it's time for a FOLLOW-UP!  Don't stand in the doorway, lay, lady, lay cuz everybody must get stoned! 

LIVE from The Paper Machete at the Green Mill Lounge

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas

Nobel of the Ball

Nobel of the Ball
Chad the Bird 10.08.16

Chad tries to give the rundown on the winners of the 2016 Nobel Prize but Herb is still crashing on the couch and since Chad is a good samaritan (and also cuz he doesn't trust Herb alone in the apartment), Herb tags along to the Machete and well... Herbs it. 

LIVE from The Paper Machete at the Green Mill Lounge

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas

The Big Deli-mma

The Big Deli-mma
Chad the Bird 10.1.16

The Carnegie Deli is closing after 80 years?! What the knish?! Chad throws all the Yiddish he knows at the problem until everything's kosher. Best listened to on rye bread. 

LIVE from The Paper Machete at the Green Mill Lounge

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas

 

A Chad Classic: Happy Birthday to Everyone!

A Chad Classic: Happy Birthday to Everyone
Chad the Bird 09.24.16

It's finally Fall! Which means it's time for allergies and colds and Chad is home sick. So sit back, pull up a blanket, make some tea, pop some Sudafed and crack open a Chad Classic from Chad's Past: September 26th 2015 - Happy Birthday to Everyone. 

LIVE from The Paper Machete at the Green Mill Lounge

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas

 

Chad Trek

Chad Trek
Chad the Bird 09.10.16

Chadptains Log - Stardate: September 8th 1966 - 50 years ago Star Trek set out on its voyage and has since gone boldly where no one has gone before. Set phasers to "Memories" and engage, nyerds.  

LIVE from The Paper Machete at the Green Mill Lounge

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas

LottaPaloozing

LottaPaloozing
Chad the Bird 07.30.16

Due to increased political discourse, Chad the Bird resorted to self-assigning coverage of Lollapalooza in the Grant Park area of Chicago, where he fell victim to a chemically induced altered-state after “totally just, I don’t know, breathing” in close proximity to the music festival. What follows is...what happened. 

LIVE from The Paper Machete at the Green Mill Lounge

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas

 

RIP VHS

RIP VHS
Chad the Bird 07.23.16

The last company to make new VCRs, Funai Co., is shutting down production for good. So say goodbye to a legacy and an era and hello to the ones in the pawnshops, in the basement that you never learned to program, hell you can still get one at BEST BUY.... Whatever it's a fun episode, just have fun, jeez, let it go. 

LIVE from The Paper Machete at the Green Mill Lounge

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas

Ecto-1-der Women

Ecto-1-der Women
Chad the Bird 7.16.16

After a brief affirmation, Chad gets nostalgic looking under his couch for knick-knacks which leads him to his live, spoiler-free, ain't afraid'a'no bros Chadpinion of the new "Ghostbusters".

LIVE from The Paper Machete at the Green Mill Lounge

Bitchin' Theme Song "Promises" by The Barreracudas